One of the most emotionally difficult writing tasks many people face is crafting an obituary for someone they love. It’s never easy to put grief into words, and the thought of sitting down to summarize a person’s life during such a tender time can feel impossible. Yet writing an obituary is more than just a formal announcement; it’s a meaningful opportunity to celebrate, honor, and preserve a loved one’s story. When done thoughtfully, an obituary becomes a timeless tribute, not just a notice.
In the early stages of grief, writing anything may feel overwhelming. That’s why support tools like the AI paraphraser by JustDone can be incredibly helpful. If you’re trying to express something but can’t find the words, the paraphraser can refine your message while keeping it authentic and heartfelt.
Why Obituaries Matter in the Grieving Process
Writing an obituary is not a mere formality; it is a significant emotional and cultural act. It tells the world that someone special was here, lived a life full of meaning, and is now gone. It connects friends and family to shared memories and often brings solace in times of mourning. More than anything, an obituary captures the essence of a person in a way that helps others remember them clearly and fondly.
A well-written obituary informs people about the death and the arrangements for any upcoming services. It also honors the individual’s life story, highlighting milestones, values, and contributions. Finally, it creates a link between generations. Long after a service is over, the obituary remains as a written record, helping future family members understand where they come from.
When I had to write my uncle’s obituary, I struggled with how to start. But once I focused on the memories (his sense of humor, his Sunday football rituals, the way he made everyone feel at home), it came together. It wasn’t about listing every fact. It was about capturing his spirit in words.
What to Prepare Before You Start Writing an Obituary
To make the process smoother, it helps to gather some essential information before you start writing. This includes the full name of the person (and maiden name if relevant), their birth and death dates, family details, career history, hobbies, and any details about the funeral or memorial services.
Collecting all this in one place helps avoid missing key facts. If you’re collaborating with other family members, using a shared online document can make things easier. And if you feel overwhelmed by a flood of stories and memories, JustDone’s AI paraphraser can help you trim lengthy notes into concise, respectful reflections.
How to Write an Obituary: Step-by-Step Structure for Clarity
The structure of an obituary can vary, but most follow a format that includes an opening statement, life history, personal details, surviving family members, and information about services. Start with a sentence that provides the person’s name, age, and date of passing. Then move into details like birthplace, education, marriage, and career milestones.
Next, personalize the obituary by adding what made this person unique. Were they an artist, a storyteller, a community volunteer? This is the moment to make the obituary more than just a summary — make it feel like the person. Then, list surviving family members and those who passed before. Finally, provide clear details about any upcoming services, donations, or memorial wishes.
Capturing the Right Tone and Style for Your Obituary
Obituaries don’t all have to follow a formal tone. In fact, many people now opt for something more conversational and reflective. The tone should reflect the person you’re writing about. Were they warm and casual, or traditional and formal? Let their voice shine through your writing.
When choosing words, aim for respectful and clear language. Don’t worry about sounding poetic or profound; what matters most is being sincere. A favorite quote or a personal anecdote can bring a lovely touch. Remember, you’re writing for friends, family, and maybe even future readers who have never met this person. Clarity and emotion are both important.
Two Real Obituary Examples for Inspiration and Guidance
A traditional example might read:
Robert James Ellis, 81, of Columbus, passed away on November 22, 2023. Born to Clara and Henry Ellis on April 9, 1942, Robert spent 35 years as a high school science teacher. He is survived by his wife of 55 years, Carol, two sons, and four grandchildren. A memorial service will be held at Grace Lutheran Church on December 1 at 11 a.m. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Alzheimer’s Association.
A more personal, casual example:
Liam Patrick O’Connor, 67, left this world on January 18, 2024, surrounded by his favorite music and family. A gifted storyteller and self-taught mechanic, Liam could fix anything and made everyone feel at home in his garage. He leaves behind his daughter, two grandkids, and countless friends who’ll miss his laugh. Join us for a celebration of Liam’s life on January 26 at Pine Ridge Park. Come as you are; he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Where to Publish the Obituary and How to Submit It
Once your obituary is complete, consider where you want to publish it. Local newspapers are a traditional choice and typically charge by word count. Many funeral homes also offer to submit the obituary on your behalf. Be sure to proofread carefully and include contact details if the publication requires them.
Another increasingly popular option is to post the obituary online. Memorial websites and social media allow for longer tributes, photos, and messages from friends. These platforms make it easier for people far away to engage with your tribute and share their condolences.
Managing Emotions While Writing a Loved One’s Obituary
Writing while grieving is no easy task. You may find yourself crying, laughing, or staring at a blank page. That’s all okay. The writing process can be healing, and it’s perfectly normal to pause and return later.
Take breaks as needed. Invite others to help. And if you’re stuck on how to phrase something, the AI paraphraser from JustDone can help transform thoughts into language without losing meaning or warmth. It acts like a gentle co-writer when your own words feel out of reach.
Avoiding Common Mistakes in Obituary Writing
Even with the best intentions, errors can slip into an obituary. Forgetting important names or misplacing service times can cause confusion. That’s why reviewing your draft is crucial. Ask a family member to proofread, or run it through a smart editing tool.
Try not to be too vague or too lengthy. Focus on specifics that show the person’s uniqueness. If your draft is too long, JustDone’s summarizing tools can help shorten it while keeping the tone intact.
Final Thoughts: Your Tribute Can Be Both Loving and Lasting
Writing an obituary is a way to honor a life and begin the healing process. Don’t worry about making it perfect. Just make it honest. The act itself is part of saying goodbye and sharing what made someone unforgettable.
If you’re not sure where to begin or how to phrase certain thoughts, tools like the AI paraphraser by JustDone can help you find clarity. With a thoughtful approach and the right support, your words can bring comfort to others and serve as a meaningful tribute for years to come.
